"When Beauty Fades, What Are You Left With?
Updated: Dec 7, 2021
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Today's guest is Melissa Robinson, and I am so excited for her to share her story of how she went from false confidence to true confidence in Christ, Melissa is a military spouse of 21 years, mom of two boys, and a homemaker.
She enjoys gardening, nature photography, and spending time with her family. She also loves to write and encourages others on their faith journey through her blog, My Hills and Valleys. I am so glad you are here, Melissa.
Melissa: Hi Michele, thank you for having me. Congratulations on your podcast.
Michele: Thank you. Just so y'all know I'm gonna keep it real here. Melissa has a three year old and we are hoping he stays entertained, but this is real life with moms and grandmas and all the things that we have going on.
Melissa can you share a time when you did not walk in godly confidence and how it affected your life?
Melissa: I can do that. My whole life really. I wouldn't say I was someone with much confidence at all, let alone godly confidence. I didn't come to truly know the Lord until my late 20s. It wasn't until my mid to late 30s that I found my confidence in the Lord, so I was always an insecure person. I measured myself to the world and the world's impression of me was a gauge in which I found a false identity. My identity was rooted in my appearance. As I grew up I had aspired to be a model because I was always told I was pretty. I don't remember any other aspects of my life which I was encouraged to be anything besides and attractive girl. When that's your only aspiration in the world it's never enough. It was never fulfilling so I was always pursuing more ways to find fulfillment and using my appearance in order to gain the acceptance that I was lacking. In more recent years there was this one day I had a lightbulb moment, like “Melissa when your beauty fades what are you left with?”
That's when I discovered that beauty is from within. The light of Christ radiates like nothing I've ever seen before and that's what I want.
Michele: Praise God and that's the message that we share here on this podcast. So much has been emphasized on our outward appearance.
So many of the lies we believe and ways people have say we are accepted or not accepted come from our appearance.
Knowing that our true beauty is who we are in Christ and when we have confidence in him, it changes everything.
Melissa: It does and that's why I'm honored to be here and have this conversation with you because I believe it's crucial. It needs to be heard and people need to be encouraged. I love that you stepped out in faith to proclaim this exact topic.
Michele: It's been interesting because I'm also writing a book at the same time about the same topic. I talk about some interesting things that we have believed as women and I'm sure it's going to rub some people the wrong way. You know I have dealt with the same. I mean most women do. They either have a false confidence because of their beauty or they're insecure because of their looks and they don't feel they measure up.
I am tired of women being bogged down by that lie, so what is your best advice for women who struggle with insecurity?
Melissa: Seek the Lord and discover who He created you to be. In Him you'll find your purpose, your worth, and you will learn to measure yourself to his standards over the world's. Through sanctification I believe you find a confidence that's only found in Him.
When I think of each person individually, I remember this quote that says “How cool is it that the same God that created the mountains, the oceans, and galaxies looked and thought the world needed one of you too.”
The truth is, is that there's something so uniquely created about each and every person and that's what sets us apart from the next. I feel like once we tap into our individual purpose it's easier to focus on being who God intended for us to be rather than being caught up in the trap of comparison or constantly trying to fit in with a world that is always changing. God never changes and we have access to that stability and unshaken confidence that's found in Him.
Michele: Yes, oh that's so true!
What is your favorite scripture to encourage women to walk in the confidence of Christ?
Melissa: My favorite scripture that was a turning point in my life that I still cling to is Proverbs 3:5-6.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.
The reason being is, as we trust in Him, He will lead us to the understanding of Philippians 4:13 which says, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
For me stepping out in faith means doing something that God wants me to do and doing it afraid in His strength alone.
That's how I found godly confidence. I don't have to do it in my power. We have access to His strength, power, and goodness.
When we walk in it, it's a game changer.
Michele Bowman: Amen! The world puts so much emphasis on “you are enough” “you've got it inside you”. And they're having to do this in their own strength.
When we realize it's doesn't have to be in our strength it relieves so much pressure and gives us true freedom.
Melissa: It does! And it destroys what if you do everything in your own strength and you fail. Are you a failure now? When you rely on yourself you’re going to be let down.
Michele Bowman: This is true and it's a lie that many have believed.
Since you started serving Jesus, what is your favorite way to encourage and witness to other women?
Melissa: I love women's ministry. It's where I've personally found so much encouragement in my walk with the Lord so I see so much value in it. Now I too long to be an encouragement in the life of other women whether it be at my local church, my community, or even online. I just
want to be a cheerleader and always lead others to the hope that's found in Christ.
Michele: Amen! Being a military wife you've lived in a lot of places with a lot of different people. Is it easy for you to connect with other Christian women? Is there a group in every place you've been that you have been able to connect with other Christian women?
Melissa: I have. It hasn't always been necessarily inside of my military community. You know when I join a church I'll meet women there. They may or may not be military. Some of the bases that we've lived in do have organizations like Protestant Women of the Chapel and it's basically a Women's Bible study group.
If you want it you can find it if you're looking. But I would say in my early years in the military I didn't and I think I just I wasn't looking for it. I hadn't come to the Lord so it just wasn't something that I was seeking or searching for back then. But absolutely there's plenty of opportunity for military spouses to relocate and find like minded women to weather through the military life with for sure.
Michele: Well that's really good to know. I know you know it can be a challenging life. It can be lonely when you move somewhere new and you don't know people. You have to get to know new people and make new friends. We want to encourage anyone who is in this situation, whether it's being a military wife or your husband's job just takes you to different places like mine does. Connect with women in the local church and just ask God to lead you to the place He wants you to be.
Where can people connect with you online?
Melissa: Besides the blog I'm on Instagram. Those are currently the only two places. I would love to connect with any of your listeners that want to reach out and say hey.
Michele: I want to encourage everyone to go follow Melissa on Instagram @myhillsandvalleys and check out her blog at www.myhillsandvalleys.com
If you scroll down to her “about” part she shares a link to her personal testimony of amazing things God did for her and her husband in their marriage. It's a powerful story of course those of you that know me know that I cried when I read it. I love seeing God heal hearts and do amazing things.